Halloween on the Normandy
by erttheking
Summary: The Collector have been defeated and there's nothing on the horizon. Well, except a little Halloween party that Jane has planned. Patreon sponsored story.


Jane Shepard examined herself in the reflection of her fish tank. There wasn't a mirror in her quarters, for reasons she couldn't possibly fathom. On an Alliance vessel it would have been for the logical reason of mirrors being glass and glass being deadly when it was shattered in a combat situation. Cerberus didn't have that excuse, seeing as how they were ok with a giant fish tank in the room. Even if the tank was safety glass, the hundreds of gallons of water that would burst out of it was shattered was very much a safety hazard. Still, it made due as a makeshift full body mirror.

Her outfit had taken a month to put together, and if she was to be honest with herself, she thought it had come out extremely well. A perfect replication of Samus Aran's Varia Suit. Red, gold and a few specks of green. Everything was there, even the arm cannon, minus the helmet. Jane had idly considered going all out and buying herself a blonde wig to complete the look, but had decided against it. The result was that it it looked a little odd that there was flaming red hair instead of golden blonde to go with the Varia Suit, but Jane liked it that way. It made the look hers.

That and it was fun to mix the appearance of Samus and herself. The woman had been a bit of an idol to Jane. Ok, so her idol may have been a fictional character that she maybe, sort of, might have had a eensy weensy little crush on when she was thirteen. Thankfully, as she had gotten older, Jane had started to admire her more for her accomplishments than her looks. That and a pretty kickass suit of armor.

"EDI, how is everyone doing?" Shepard asked, turning on the spot to ensure no bits of armor had fallen off. "Is the party in session?"

"Joker has clarified to me that "things are just warming up" and that you are not missing anything," EDI clarified, her avatar popping up to the side of Jane. Except it wasn't her avatar, it was a blue and purple hologram of Cortana. It was very jarring to hear EDI's neutral and clinical voice coming out of a character that Jane mainly associated with dry with. Then again, considering all the other characters EDI could have picked from, Jane was just glad that she had picked one that was benevolent. Before the writing began to suck anyway.

"Good to hear. Is everyone in costume?" she asked, moving one loose plate back into place before turning to look at EDI pretending to be Cortana.

"There are a few stragglers still getting dressed, but aside from them, yes," EDI said. "Food has been served, drinks have been made available, and all vital operations are being handled by me. You and the rest of the crew are free to enjoy yourself on All Hallow's Eve." Jane grinned. After the defeat of the Collector's, her crew had earned this. There were no blips on the radar, no signs of being followed, the Normandy was repaired, everyone was healed and rested. It was time for a bit of celebration.

There was a knock on the door. "Shepard, everyone's been getting impatient. You've been up here for three hours, are you trying to make that outfit of yours combat capable?" Jane had idly toyed with the idea, but eventually had decided that it probably wouldn't be worth the credit sink. Better to stick with good old N7 Marine armor. Maybe just stick a screw attack sticker on one of the shoulders.

"Coming fellow bounty hunter," Jane said playfully, crossing the room and opening the door. It had been hard to get a proper Boba Fett costume for Garrus, what with the difference in proportions between humans and Turians. Eventually she had had to order a custom outfit that scaled the iconic design to Turian width and height. Like Jane, he had forgone a helmet, but the rest of the costume was easily recognizable, even if the proportions had been stretched. "I still think we could've done without the antenna," Garrus said, idly flicking it. "The jetpack is much more striking on its own."

"Hey, we've committed enough heresy as it is with that costume, Boba never took his helmet off, I'm not pushing it any further," Jane said playfully, passing Garrus and giving him a peck on the cheek as she went.

"You never struck me as a stickler for details," Garrus said, giving the Turian equivalent of a small smile and following her to the elevator. "I hope you don't get on everyone else for minor mess ups. Early 21st and late 20nd century science fiction is a rather odd theme to pick for a party, there was a lot of struggling with this, let me tell you."

"Only in areas I'm really passionate about," Jane said, pressing a button and causing the elevator doors to open wide. "And I did love Metroid and Star Wars growing up a bit more than most other things. I got funny looks liking things that were over a century old, but damn did they age well." She gave a sly smile as the two of them stepped into the elevator and it began to descend. "And don't worry, I won't get on them for mistakes. That much."

Garrus sighed and shook his head, but he was still smiling. "It was tricky getting enough space for the party, we had to push into the CIC and armory. But most of the crew is there. The ones that aren't tired from the night shift and sleeping it off anyway" Jane's smile widened as the elevator slid to a stop. It only widened even further as the door opened and she got a good sight of Kelly.

"How's it going Councilor Troi?" she asked.

Kelly gave a little bow, before straightening herself as giving Jane a good look at the outfit. The blue uniform that had been worn in the later seasons. "Well, I'm no empath, but I am getting a lot of good vibes from everyone else."

"I'd say so, this was a rather good idea Commander," said the familiar voice of Miranda Lawson. Jane turned on the spot and had to blink to make sure she wasn't seeing things. For a split second, she had thought that she wasn't actually talking to Miranda, mainly because Miranda Lawson didn't have purple hair or blood red eyes. After she had taken a few seconds to adjust, she realized Miranda was wearing a wig and special contact lenses. Both of which complimented the black outfit she was wearing, making her the spitting image of Makoto Kusanagi.

"Damn," Jane said, silently kicking herself for not going as far herself. "Are you genetically capable of half assing things Miranda?"

"This? Oh this isn't anything to do with that," she said, giving a small but warm smile. "This is just a little passion project. The Major was always a favorite of mine, I wanted to do her justice. She helped me when I was going through a rough phase in my life. I'm guessing things were similar with you?"

"Well, I wouldn't call it a rough phase, but yeah, something like that." She let out a small laugh. Kind of funny, how we base ourselves on fictional characters, even if it is a little bit."

"Oh, I wouldn't call it funny," Miranda replied. "Unconventional maybe, but that's it. Sentient beings have always sought out idols, most commonly in the form of historical figures. This isn't too different from that." Shepard privately wondered if Miranda had modeled her wardrobe on the Major's as well. She then decided to never ask that out loud. Unless she needed to have her jaw broken in a hurry. "Well, come on in, the others are waiting for you," Miranda said, idly gesturing towards the armory.

Tali and Legion were standing in front of it. Both of them looked rather odd. Shepard wasn't sure what to expect from the aliens on the ship, she had practically forced Garrus' costume on him, but even then she was surprised by what they had chosen. Tali's suit had been painted white, with a few fake wires sticking out of the back of her head and onto a backpack she had strapped onto herself. Meanwhile, Legion had an odd array of wooden panels that were painted a greyish color sticking out of its body in a circular array, along with a strange atenea like thing.

It took a moment of Shepard looking at the Geth before she was able to piece it together. "A freaking Dalak?" she said, fighting back the urge to collapse to the ground laughing. "You picked a Dalak, Legion?"

"Creator 'Zorah and I were struggling with research," Legion said matter of factly as Tali tried to adjust one of the panels. "We discovered many examples of artificial intelligences in fiction during the time period Shepard Commander specified. Many of them were hostile and attempted the extinction of the Human species, or otherwise attempted harm on the "heroes" of the story in question."

"Needless to say, we weren't in a hurry to dress him up as HAL, AM, SHODAN, a Terminator, you get the idea," Tali said, finally securing the panel. "But we found one form of synthetic that people seemed to like. Albeit in a somewhat ironic manner...at least I hope it was ironic, it'd be disturbing otherwise."

"Yeah, trust me, as cute as it is to hear them scream exterminate over and over again, I'd be terrified if I saw a real one," Jane said. "But what about you Tali? I'm totally lost."

"Karan S'Jet," Tali said, sounding a little proud. "A woman who was part of a fleet that was made up of the last survivors of her species. I thought it was fitting. Granted I never plugged myself into the Normandy's main computer, but you get the idea."

Jane now remembered the mission control from Homeworld. It made sense that she hadn't been able to recognize her appearance, her body had rarely been seen in the game proper. Part of her wondered if Tali was taking pleasure in Jane not recognizing it right off the bat. If it was, Jane would let her have that small victory. For now.

"Well, this is as good as it's going to get," Tali said with a frustrated sigh. "No offense Legion, but you're lousy at costume building."

"We do not take offense Creator 'Zorah," Legion replied. "We have compared and contrasted results and have concluded that our creation is lacking compared to others. We are adjusting our approach and intent to produce a more high quality result next year."

"Here's hoping there is a next year," Tali said. "Well, maybe we should actually join the party Shepard. We only came out here because Grunt had accidentally knocked one of the plates loose. I think he decided to try ryncol and it went to his head a little faster than any of us expecting."

"Aw, Shepard, Junior's growing up so fast," Garrus said dryly. "Today he's drinking, tomorrow he'll be smoking, and the day after that he'll be trying to drop an asteroid on Palavan." Jane had to fight back a laugh. She really shouldn't be amused by Grunt's antics, but the tank born Krogan had grown on her so much. "Anyway, do we have to worry about him getting too rowdy? A drunk Krogan is something that ruins most parties if he's out of control."

"He seems to be bouncing back from it rather quickly," Tali said. "Or, at the very least, he's quick on learning how to compensate. He's lurching a little bit when he tries to move, but he's got a lot more self control than right after he downed his drink."

At that moment, the door to the armory slid open and Grunt staggered out, a bottle in his hand. He was covered with splotches of green paint and crudely taped on quilt looking patches. It wasn't until Jane spotted the bolts awkwardly taped to his neck that Jane realized the Grunt was trying to take on the appearance of Frankenstein's monster. While surprised that Grunt had picked something so fitting, she privately thought that it was possibly the worst costume she had ever seen. Not helped by the way that Grunt was swaying to the side, radically slurring his words.

"Shepaard. Masterbattle," he said drunkenly. "There should be songs about you. But no sonds yet. No good. So I write song. Hold on." He gave a loud belch. "Shepard died, but that just pissed her off. Shepard pissed is mighty warrior. Then they killed all the Collectors. They were dumb." He blinked. "Itsa work in progress."

Jane laughed harder than she had in a long time. Garrus, on the other hand, shot Tali a weary glance. "More self control?"

"You should have seen him earlier," Tali said darkly. "He thought Legion was a drink dispense. Kept trying to push his glass against the optic." Now that was an image Jane wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon. "I'm just glad Legion didn't get its arm ripped off. It's already taken a fair bit of damage there, we don't want to compound matters."

"Ok, Grunt? You've had enough for tonight. You can stay at the party, but the second you think it's too hard to stand, you promise you'll go to the med bay and lie down, ok?" Jane said sternly. She did have to make sure Grunt didn't hurt anyone, or himself. He responded by giving a sloppy salute and accidently spilling the last of his drink. He didn't seem to mind. "Ok then. To the party itself."

Heading through the doorway to the armory, the others following closely behind her. Food and drink covered the racks that had once played home to weapons, all of which had been carefully put away. Orange and black lights had been put up to reflect the atmosphere. Crewmembers, each in their own little costumes were crowding together, looking at something. Jane's jaw dropped.

She had thought her own costume was good. She had thought Miranda's costume was impressive. Samara had put them all to shame. Purple and black, flowing dreadlocks, an ominous glowing aura created via biotics, and massive, bony wings that were unfolded behind her. The spitting image of the Queen of Blades.

Nearly everyone was staring in awe, complementing Samara, asking for advice, or otherwise snapping pictures. The Justicar was smiling politely and, while not noticeably enjoying the attention, didn't seem to mind it either. "Bit of a show off, ain't she?" Jane turned her head. Jack was standing right next to her, wearing a worn leather outfit, a pair of goggles, and a cheap pink wig. "Starcraft was my idea, and she had to go and outdo me." She sounded more amused than anything else.

"Mira?" Jane asked, earning a nod from Jack. "Well, to be honest, I think she outdid all of us. I mean, does anyone even come close to that?"

"You and Cheerleader were the only ones. And, no offense, I think the Cheerleader has you beat. I honestly thought she dyed her hair for a bit. You've seen everyone else except Thane and Kasumi. And, well, just look at them. They only barely kept to the theme." Jack gestured across the room. Sitting at a table, both wearing cloaks with hoods, were Thane and Kasumi. Thane was wearing a pure white cloak while Kasumi a pitch black one. They were rather plain looking outfits with the exception of a fake blade that was attached to Thane's wrist and a bow slung over Kasumi's back.

"Altaïr and Garrett?" Jane said. "You're right, that is pushing things. I guess there was alien technology and steampunk for both of them, but that is seriously pushing it." She shrugged. "Ah well, they're having fun, that's the important thing."

"At least they put actual effort in," Jack said, gesturing to Mordin, who was near the edge of the crowd. Mordin was wearing the normal outfit that he always did. The only difference was that he was wearing a ridiculously long scarf draped over his shoulders. A bizarrely multi-colored one that was dragging on the floor.

"We recognize this article of clothing, it came up during our research," Legion remarked. "Appropriate response is concluded to be slowly approaching while repeating the term "exterminate," at a precise pitch. Shall I engage in this practice?"

"Maybe later," Jane said. You know, I think he actually ordered some yarn the other day. I think he knit that thing himself. Her grin was back on her face, she couldn't help herself. All around her were the people who had gone into hell and come back out alive. Many with wounds, but all of them alive. They had time to dress up in silly colorful costumes, stuff their faces full of sugar, and not care about anything. God damn it All Hallow's Eve felt good.

"You look like you're ready to start something," Garrus said knowingly. "What's the game plan?" And it was only about to feel even better.

XXXXX

Author's Note: Sadly it didn't feel right to put either Jacob or Zaeed in this story. I could see most of the other characters playing dress up if they were in the right mood, but not those two. I don't know, just some kind of block won't let me envision it. Well, this comes up a little late to wish you a happy Halloween, so happy waking up from your sugar comas!

I would like to thank my Patrons, SuperFeatherYoshi, xXNanamiXx, Ryan Van Schaack, RaptorusMaximus, and Davis Swinney for their amazing support.


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